


It's Sort of Nice

by RavenclawGenius



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, Romance, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:45:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6292225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawGenius/pseuds/RavenclawGenius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bechloe: Chloe needs something that Beca doesn't expect - and Beca thinks she might enjoy it more than she's supposed to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is a first, for me. Ultimately, I'm looking to explore a little Dom/sub play, here, and I'm nervous to see how it plays out, so please bear with me. I wanted to imagine how a relationship like that could grow between two people who aren't already informed about (or some way invested in) that kind of lifestyle, and I think Chloe and Beca are sort of perfect for it, but I'll let you decide what you think. Be easy on me, please, though, and let me know if – at any point – I write something between our girls that's offensive or inaccurate, within this context.
> 
> Also, for those of you reading Burn the Day – don't worry! I'm working on the next chapter right now. Thanks, and shoot me a review to let me know how I'm doing. Remember I'm new to this kind of thing; any comments, suggestions, or advice would be greatly appreciated.

It doesn't happen all at once; it isn't love at first sight, or anything like that at all.

Chloe is beautiful, even from a distance, and her lighthearted nature is sweet and maybe a little captivating, upon discovery, but that's basically it. Beca isn't instantly floored; she doesn't fall to the ground at the pretty redhead's feet, and she isn't suddenly struck by some desperate desire to maul the girl with her mouth.

At first, it's just an interest.

It becomes a pretty _strong_ interest after the second time that they meet, Beca will admit – but after witnessing the sinful glory of Chloe Beale, nude and wet all over from head to pretty, painted toes, cheeks flushed and blue eyes sparkling in the ugly yellow light of her shower stall, Beca really doesn't even blame herself. Chloe is gorgeous, and Beca's interest is natural – but there really isn't much more to it than that.

Not at first.

The rest takes time. Beca is guarded and waspish and slow to trust, but Chloe is persistent and open and happy to persevere; Chloe will dance all the way around the perimeter of Beca's mountainous, protective walls until she reaches the front gate all over again, where she calls out with a patient smile and a cute little wave, and waits for a few minutes to see if Beca's decided to let her through, yet.

Sometimes Beca does; sometimes she lets Chloe pass with no trouble at all, only for the redhead to begin her dance all over again, blithely trotting through to the next layer of Beca's defenses. Sometimes Beca resists, but Chloe only frowns, shrugs, and starts from the beginning like it's a brand new approach, only she does it the exact same way, and it- still sort of _works._

It's a little bit weird, for Beca, but it's also sort of nice, so she doesn't fight it as hard as she normally might.

Chloe tries so hard to know her, and that's not something that Beca is used to. As a general rule, people don't _care_ about Beca; she knows her parents love her, at least a little, but they've never loved Beca _most,_ and everything else somehow always seems to rank above her. Warren Mitchell has more love for his new family than his old one, and Beca's mother is so drug-addled that Beca thinks most of the time she forgets she even has a daughter, until her high wears off all over again.

But Chloe tries.

She brings a latte to Beca's dorm room in October, when the DJ is lost in a musical coma and hasn't slept in two straight days, and that's- really just the kind of thing that people typically don't _do,_ for Beca. It's caramel flavored – her favorite – and she'd told Chloe about it just three weeks before, but Beca is surprised that she remembers.

It's confusing, and she really doesn't understand why Chloe even cares enough to bother, but- Beca feels a little fluttering sort of sensation stirring in her chest, anyway, and she's grateful for Chloe's concern, even if Beca doesn't actually think that she needs it.

She's been taking care of herself for a very long time, and Beca doesn't need help.

Still, it's sort of nice to have it.

She sets the cardboard cup at the edge of her desk – far out of the splash-zone from her computer, just in case – and she looks up at Chloe with an appreciatively bemused, lopsided smile. Beca stands up from her desk, awkwardly fumbling around the cord of her headphones as they briefly tangle around her neck, before she settles her palms over Chloe's hips.

She doesn't hug her, really. Beca doesn't hug.

It isn't that she's opposed to them; Beca just doesn't really have anyone left to hug, anymore, and she hasn't _been_ hugged in a very long time – at least, not outside of the bedroom. It's something she remembers from when she was young, before her parents split and practically forgot that affection is something a developing child _needs,_ but the last real hug Beca remembers came from her grandmother, the day before she died.

Beca was twelve.

Chloe pets her, though, sometimes. She flicks long, slim fingers occasionally through Beca's hair, usually just once, before Beca grows uncomfortable; traces her fingertips across the outline of the tattoo printed into Beca's shoulder, but never lingers long enough to pattern out the details; maps the lines in Beca's palms, but never holds her hand or links their fingers.

Beca likes it. It feels sort of nice, and Chloe is careful to mind her limits.

Even a small, simple touch is something intimate, for Beca; it's something she doesn't do often, because that's something that Beca thinks is _personal –_ but Chloe is trying so hard to know her, and Beca rewards that loyal determination by granting Chloe privileges with her body that no one else has.

It sounds dirtier than it is, honestly, but it's still important.

And every time Beca allows it, Chloe tows her bottom lip between her teeth, suddenly and uncharacteristically bashful, as a radiantly pink flush lights the color of her cheeks.

Beca is particularly flattered by this gesture, though. She's flattered that Chloe would even think to stop by to check on her, in the first place; she's flattered that Chloe _brought her_ something; she's flattered that Chloe brought Beca her favorite _kind_ of that something, and that Chloe even remembered it, to begin with. So she rewards Chloe with something bigger.

Beca initiates the touch.

Her palms land deliberately over the swell of Chloe's waist, and Beca doesn't hug her, exactly, but she squeezes. It's soft, and gentle, and barely anything, if she's being realistic, but- it's sort of _everything,_ to Beca, and she wants Chloe to understand that.

She swipes her tongue across her lips, thoughtful and solemn, but she meets the curious blue of Chloe's eyes with her own and tells her earnestly, "This was really nice of you. Thanks, Chloe."

Only, the redhead blinks vacantly at Beca's gratitude, for a moment, brow knotted in heartfelt confusion like she doesn't even understand what it _means_ , before Chloe's entire face lights up like the actual sun is beaming out from behind the glowing line of her teeth.

It's a little bit of an exaggerated reaction to a simple 'thank you,' no matter how sincere it might be, and Beca notices – but Chloe only nods frantically and tremblingly whispers back, "You're welcome."

The redhead's fingers clasp briefly over Beca's wrists, stroking tenderly along the pulsing vein beneath, just for a second, before Chloe's smile turns shy all over again, and she ducks her head away as her hands fall back to her sides.

Beca chuckles, because Chloe is pretty as fuck, but she's also a little weird. Beca doesn't understand her, sometimes, but she wants to understand her _better_ , at least, so she vows to try, since Chloe is trying, too.

* * *

Chloe is generous.

Beca thinks that Chloe is probably a little bit _too_ generous, really.

The redhead goes out of her way to make people happy. She's practically an on-site therapist for the Bellas, and she brings fucking _party bags_ to Saturday night sleepovers; she moderates Aubrey's impatience with the group until it's something that Beca can at least _tolerate,_ most days, and she is the most overall helpful person Beca's ever even met, particularly when it comes to teaching the Bellas.

And Chloe does most of that with little or no reward.

People rarely say 'thank you' to Chloe, Beca's noticed; they accept her gifts and her help and her love, and they're usually very happy to take all of that, from Chloe – but they're rarely appreciative of the thought or effort or affection she devotes to it.

It's kind of unfair. Beca thinks that the girls take advantage of Chloe, sometimes, even without meaning to; they treat the things she does for them like it's just par for the course, among friends, even if they don't treat Chloe the same way in return, and Beca really hates it.

It honestly starts to grate on her nerves, but it doesn't truly culminate until December, after her arrest at regionals.

She's pissed at Aubrey for failing to respect Beca's opinion – she's a member of the group, too, and her ideas should at least be _heard,_ Beca thinks – but the blonde won't give an inch, no matter how hard Beca pushes. Still, Chloe tries to nudge Aubrey into giving Beca a shot, too, and the DJ's heart triples in pace instantly, in answer.

People don't fight for Beca. She's always been on her own team, and she's always stood alone. Granted, the lack of support is sometimes overwhelmingly disappointing, but Beca is pretty used to that, at this point.

Except that now Chloe is standing with her, and Beca has to swallow to contain her rage when Aubrey ruins that by knocking Chloe down.

The redhead completely deflates in the immediate wake of Aubrey's rejection, arms tucking defensively across her chest and shoulders sinking inward. She looks to the floor in self-disappointment, devastated blue eyes catching only briefly with Beca's on the way down, almost like she's been _shamed,_ somehow, and Beca righteously feels furious.

Chloe is a co-captain. She is a senior, and has devoted three years and some change to this group, just like Aubrey has; even if _Beca_ hasn't earned the right to an opinion on the Bellas' set list, Chloe definitely has – and it's really shitty that the redhead's best friend can't even appreciate her input.

Beca knows what Chloe did for her, though, so when the Bellas finally leave, Beca asks for Chloe to stay. She doesn't make a habit out of inviting Chloe to her room – the redhead sort of just- _shows up,_ whenever she wants, which is mostly fine with Beca, as strange as that is – but the invitation makes Chloe light up like Christmas morning, and Beca proudly smiles back.

She's glad that she can cheer Chloe up with something so small and basic.

Still, the invitation for Chloe to stay doesn't quite measure up in value to Chloe's blindly offered support, and Beca needs to reward that with _more;_ Chloe defended Beca's music without ever even hearing what she can do with it, to begin with, and Beca knows that isn't right.

After a short, contemplative moment, Beca lifts her headphones from the desk, spinning in her office chair to face Chloe, still standing behind her, and the DJ's eyes fall even with Chloe's hips. She presses one of the cups of her headphones against the back of Chloe's hand, near her thigh, but Chloe doesn't understand right away what Beca is trying to do, so she takes the redhead's palm and curls Chloe's fingers around the band of the headset. Beca becomes a little insistent when Chloe doesn't grab it properly, but eventually the redhead's hand twitches in eager realization.

Slowly, Chloe accepts the offering, and Beca raises her gaze from Chloe's hips. "Listen," Beca tells her simply, and turns around to queue up a mix.

Beca's been toying with 'Titanium' and 'Bulletproof' for months, now, and the track really isn't even finished, yet – but most of it was put together with the redhead somewhere in mind, and she thinks Chloe will appreciate it.

She watches when Chloe's eyes widen at the shift to the familiar David Guetta lyrics, and she laughs outright when Chloe uncomfortably shuffles her weight across her hips and feet, but- Beca really isn't as nervous as she might have expected.

It's sort of nice, watching Chloe react to her music. It's also sort of hot, Beca considers – probably because she _knows_ what Chloe does to herself with this particular song, and probably also because Beca's imagined what that scene might look like more times than she'd honestly like to count – but that really isn't the most important part.

The most important part comes when Chloe's eyes rest to a close at the finish of the track, a soft hum tumbling from between her lips, and she looks at Beca with the most adoring, worshipful stare that Beca's ever seen.

Chloe is looking at her like Beca just handed her the world, strapped with a pretty bow around it like a gift, all for Chloe to have.

"You made this?" Chloe whispers, delicately tugging the headphones from around her ears and setting them gently over Beca's desk.

Beca shrugs, then nods, because she can't think of what else she's meant to say to that.

"Wow," Chloe breathes with a winded laugh. "You're, um- You're kind of insanely talented, you know that?"

And it's kind of crazy, the way that Beca's heart shakes behind her ribs like the organ is independently seizing inside of her chest.

It's also sort of nice, though, and Beca wants to be sure that Chloe knows how she is _grateful_.

"Thanks," Beca murmurs gently, and she stretches her palm outward to sweep fleetingly along Chloe's knee, all the way up her thigh, just for a second; just until Chloe trembles all over and looks down at the brunette like Beca's appreciation is just a baffling thing to her, altogether. "For what you said," Beca tries to explain. "I mean, for what you said to Aubrey, and- also for just now," she shrugs with a warm, tiny smile. "No one's ever done anything like that for me before, and it- it really means a lot to me, Chloe."

"I, um- You're welcome," Chloe pants softly in answer, eyes glittering with quiet, unrestrained joy and her smile stretching practically all the way up to her ears.

Beca doesn't really understand why she's so pleased, in the first place. She still doesn't understand a lot of things about Chloe, but Beca is working on it.

* * *

"It's not your job to decide what we do, and how we do it," Aubrey snaps viciously after semis, hands firmly planted over her hips as green eyes bear down on Beca with evident hatred and disgust. "Why don't you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation?"

Beca knows it would've been better all-around if she'd been able to prepare the girls in advance, but it's not like Beca planned it; the crowd had been bored and uninterested, and she'd tried to save their asses in the only way that she'd known how. Beca knows that her impromptu addition to their performance had been surprising, but it had still gone over pretty well, considering, and- she really can't believe that Aubrey is actually accusing her of trying to screw them up.

Beca had only been trying to help.

She knows how badly Chloe wanted this, and it _is_ her final year at Barden; this was Chloe's only shot at a win, and Beca hadn't been able to watch that chance sink down the drain, for her. Chloe deserves a real opportunity to succeed, with the Bellas, and it isn't fair that Aubrey has been stripping that away from her since the very beginning of the school year, one degradation at a time.

Beca had tried to do something good _,_ for Chloe – something meaningful and important and big _–_ and it had honestly been selfless, too. As much as Beca is growing to care about these girls, she isn't all that competitive, really, and she doesn't actually care how far the Bellas make it in the race to finals.

None of Beca's effort ultimately even matters, though, because Chloe won't even glance over to meet with Beca's gaze, and Beca stops looking over to check pretty quickly; it's too disappointing and it hurts, and when Beca asks Amy for her thoughts on the performance, instead, even the outlandish Tasmanian won't stand up to Aubrey's fury.

"I told you she wasn't a Bella," Aubrey tells Chloe haughtily.

"Aubrey, don't," the redhead argues weakly – but that's as far as Chloe goes, and it's too little, far too late.

Beca only even did all of this for Chloe – chose 'Bulletproof' _for Chloe –_ and that's probably enough to justify why it hurts so deeply when Chloe- doesn't stand with her.

"No, that's okay. You don't have to pretend you're allowed to have a say in the group, right?" Beca tells her through a plastic smile that pulls too sharply around her teeth.

Chloe flinches violently and tucks every limb of her body as tightly together as possible, like she's building up some kind of shield to protect herself from Beca's evidently near-tangible pain, and that really only causes Beca to scoff.

She's used to being on her own team, and she's used to standing alone – but she knows what it feels like, now, to have Chloe in her corner, and it burns Beca all over to realize that she can't actually rely on Chloe to be there.

It's fine, she tells herself. People don't _care_ about Beca – never enough to put her first, anyway – and that's just the way it is.

That's the way it always has been, and Beca was stupid to let herself believe, even for a second, that Chloe might be different – because Chloe is generous and helpful and kind, but Chloe also goes _out of her way_ to make people happy, and Beca is the outlier, right now; the group is more important, because that's more people for Chloe to disappoint if she chooses Beca, instead.

"If this is what I get for trying…" Beca laughs bitterly and shrugs, shaking her head as she turns away, leaving the sentence to trail stagnantly through the air in the wake of her departure.

They don't want her, Beca thinks. And that's fine.

No one ever does.

* * *

Chloe texts her.

It takes three days, and all it says is, _"I'm sorry,"_ but Beca doesn't answer it right away. She's tired and wounded, and that's taking her more time to process than she'd like.

Honestly, though, the DJ doesn't really know how to process it at all. Beca just feels like she's been profoundly betrayed, and she basically was.

Chloe had tried so hard to know her, and Beca had genuinely tried to _let_ Chloe know her, but she should probably have known how that could never be enough; things tend to work out best for Beca when no one actually cares who she is.

Beca misses her, though. She misses the near-constant caramel latte that used to sit at the edge of her desk, and she misses Chloe dropping by unexpectedly just to study on Beca's bed. She misses Chloe's smile and the flare of her red hair, and the deep, sparkling ocean blue of her eyes. She misses Chloe's touch, warmly breezing across her skin just long enough for gooseflesh to prickle along her arms.

Beca hates that she misses her, but the feeling still rests in the bottom of her stomach with all the weight of a goddamn boulder, and that really isn't nice at all.

Chloe had crashed into Beca's life like fucking Donkey Kong on a barrel roll, and she's nestled herself pretty comfortably inside of it ever since; Beca had let her, though, and she'd even mostly liked it – which only makes it worse, because Beca really does know better. She's learned the lesson enough times, by now, and Beca doesn't know why she still keeps trying to convince herself that she has so far been taught _wrong._

Because, ultimately, Chloe had betrayed her just like everyone else, and Beca has to figure out a way deal with that.

It takes some time – three days, to match Chloe's three just on principle _,_ for fuck's sake, and Beca doesn't care if that's petty – but she eventually texts Chloe and tells the redhead to drop by. She isn't sure why, and she doesn't actually know that she's even ready to see Chloe again, in the first place, but she thinks that if Chloe is willing to apologize, she's at least earned the right to an audience.

Chloe appears at Beca's door half an hour later with a caramel latte and a box of Girl Scout snickerdoodles, and they're both Beca's favorites – Chloe knows that – but Beca doesn't accept them. Chloe sets the items on her desk in silent resignation, and stretches her palm outward to try and make contact with Beca's shoulder, but the brunette shies away from her touch, no matter how badly she might want it.

Touch is a _reward,_ for Chloe. It's something that Beca lets her do when Chloe is especially _good to her_ , but Beca doesn't think she's earned it, now, and she feels a perverse, pleased sort of thrill when Chloe's eyes drop to the floor at the same time that her hand drops like lead from the space in between them.

She sort of wants Chloe to feel ashamed, just a little; Beca thinks that maybe she should, because Chloe had made Beca feel like she'd meant nothing, and why should Chloe fairly be allowed to feel any better than Beca does?

She doesn't know what to say, and she thinks that Chloe should probably speak first, but Beca knows that won't happen; Chloe is meek in the face of tension, and, right now, Beca would be lucky if Chloe even glances up from the carpet.

"Look at me," she demands, and her voice is firm, but also soft.

Chloe responds instantly, weakly raising anguished blue eyes to find Beca's the moment the DJ asks it of her, and Beca abruptly finds what she needs to say.

"What the hell, Chloe?" She breathes on a pained whisper. "I _trusted_ you. I tried so hard," she says perplexedly. "I tried _for you,_ Chloe," Beca insists with a frustrated shake of her head. "What the fuck happened?"

And, just like that, the dam breaks – and Chloe falls completely, direly apart.

" _I'msorryI'msorryI'msososorry,"_ Chloe chants between sudden, heaving sobs, eyes reddening beneath the irritation of wet, salty tears that streak down Chloe's cheeks and gather at the corners of her trembling lips.

"Jesus," Beca hisses, and stumbles a step backward in immediate confusion.

Chloe garbles out a heated string words that don't even make sense, but, frankly, her sentences are tripping over themselves _and_ over Chloe's sobs, and even if they did make sense, Beca still wouldn't know the difference.

"Look, just sit down, Chloe," she snaps out finally.

And Chloe obeys that instruction instantly, too, dropping into Beca's bed with heavy limbs and a clearly heavy heart.

"You've just- you've been s-so good to me, Bec, and you treat me l-like a princess and I just- I love it so much and I miss you all- all the time," Chloe hiccups frantically. "You're my wh-whole world and I love you and I _n-need you_ and I know I don't deserve _a-anything_ from you, but I'm s-so _sorry,_ Beca, and I _need_ you, please _,_ " she cries, palm cupping over her mouth in an effort to calm her breaths. "L-let me be yours, like I was before. _P-please,_ Bec," Chloe begs hysterically. _"I need you,"_ she whispers on a rush of dampened breath.

Beca just- _needs a second._

Chloe is laying a lot on her at once, and Beca's having enough trouble even deciphering the words, as it is; it's hard to get at their meaning, but Chloe is reacting so _violently,_ right now, and this feels too deep for Beca to reply without first considering what she actually thinks she needs to say.

The silence becomes too much for Chloe, though, and the redhead quickly begins to fill the space between them with sound all over again.

"Please, you can p-punish me if you need to," Chloe sniffles tiredly as her heart exhaustedly begins to calm. "You can- you can do whatever you want to me, Beca, I swear; I d-deserve it," Chloe swallows thickly and pleads. "I do," she promises, "and m-maybe I even need it, but I shouldn't have _e-ever_ abandoned you like that, and I'm so _sorry,_ Beca," she insists between breaths, blue eyes wide and beseeching, and Beca just- blinks.

So many things are beginning to puzzle together, for Beca, and it takes a second for her to work through it.

Chloe _likes_ to please.

She does it without appreciation, and without any kind of reward at all. She just- likes to make people happy, and Chloe is _her_ very happiest when someone _tells her_ that she has made them happy. She religiously reacts to Beca's gratitude like it's something that she's never heard before; like it's something precious and unexpected and special _,_ to Chloe. She beams and smiles and blushes all over, and she literally turns shy, in the face of thanks.

Chloe likes to please, but- Beca's realizing that Chloe _also_ really likes when she receives praise for doing it. And now Chloe's done something to hurt Beca instead of please her – has betrayed Beca instead of cared for her – and Chloe responds to that by telling Beca that she can- _punish her?_

Beca tries to reach another conclusion, but there's really only one thing she can think of to explain why Chloe's mind might even _go there._

"Do you _want_ to be punished, Chloe?" Beca furrows her brows and inquires solemnly. "Is that- Is that what's happening, here?"

"What?" Chloe breathes, swallows, and casts her gaze away all over again. "N-no, I just – "

" _Chloe,"_ Beca insists sharply, "don't lie to me," she warns seriously. "I'm asking you a question, and I want a real answer."

"I– " Chloe hesitates, then shrugs. "I don't- It isn't – "

The redhead combs her fingers through her hair in frustration, sweeping her palms across her face to clear the tears away, when she's finished.

"It's okay, Chloe," Beca tells her quietly. "If that's- your thing, or whatever, that's okay," Beca offers honestly. "I'm just– I'm trying to figure out what you need from me, right now, alright?"

Chloe sobs again, just once, and shakes her head, crying softly, "I don't need _a-anything_ from you, Bec. I need to give you what _y-you_ need."

"Chloe, I'm really trying, here," Beca inhales deeply, and does her best to maintain at least a little bit of patience.

Whatever this is, it's bigger than semis, and it's important; that conversation can wait, no matter how deeply Chloe had hurt her, because the redhead is a hardly-coherent wreck, right now, and it seriously rattles Beca to see her this upset.

She'd wanted Chloe to feel badly about what she'd done _,_ sure – but she hadn't wanted to ruin her, for Christ's sake.

Still, Beca is at least partially responsible for this. It might be because of something Beca did, or maybe because of something Beca didn't realize she was supposed to do, but it doesn't matter; either way, Beca needs to fix it.

"I'm trying to understand what you're getting at, but it's a little complicated. There are gaps, Chloe," Beca frowns, shrugging helplessly. "I'm trying to fill them in, but the only thing I'm really coming up with involves some seriously kinky shit, okay?"

Chloe flushes, bright blue eyes darting urgently across the room, and that's pretty much all the confirmation that Beca even needs.

"Okay," she sighs out a long exhale of breath and nods. "Okay, so I have the right idea, then, yeah? That's where we're going with this?"

Weakly, Chloe shrugs. Her mouth splits apart a couple of times to make room for a few words, but, ultimately, Chloe only bites into her bottom lip and nervously shuffles her hands to clip them beneath the weight of her jean-clad thighs.

" _Jesus Christ,_ Chloe, what do you _want?"_ Beca barks out irritably. "Like, do you need me to fucking spank you, or something? Because I need to talk about this – about _everything,"_ Beca throws her palms into the air in frustration, "and I need you to be able to have that conversation with me, so _tell me what you need,"_ she demands forcefully.

Chloe's head startles upward, and her lower lip is freed instantly from the confinement of her teeth as the redhead's mouth falls open for a series of quiet pants. Her blue eyes are wide and sincere and maybe even hopeful _,_ Beca thinks, before Chloe almost inaudibly pleads, "Would you?"

Beca doesn't choke, but she almost wishes that she did. At least that way she'd have been able to stall for time.

As it is, though, Beca merely blinks, lofts her brows basically into her hair line, and deadpans, "You really want me to spank you, Chloe?"

It's the wrong thing to say, because Chloe lets out this tiny little sound that's almost like a whimper, and her eyes focus on her knees with renewed dedication.

Beca sighs heavily and sinks into a kneel on the floor in front of her, coaxing Chloe's wrists gently from beneath the redhead's thighs, and she knots her fingers through the slots in Chloe's own. It's intimate in a way that Beca isn't sure she's comfortable with, right now, and she still doesn't really think that Chloe's earned it, anyway, but- Beca's pretty sure that Chloe _needs it,_ and that's more important.

She has to think about how to proceed, but this isn't exactly a subject that Beca knows a lot about, and she's clearly not doing very well at making Chloe feel comfortable enough to discuss it.

"Is this something you've done before?" Beca asks quietly. "I mean, the spanking thing? Or, you know, anything else like it?"

Chloe shakes her head almost imperceptibly, red curls swaying lightly along her shoulders.

Beca is a little bit relieved by that, though she really isn't sure why. She's still not even sure if she's actually thinking about doing this for Chloe, in the first place.

"But you do- _want it,_ though?" Beca asks her softly. "I mean, you actually _want_ me to, like- punish you or whatever, right?"

"It's not like that," Chloe insists anxiously, fingers absently pulling harder against Beca's own for support. "Beca," she whispers pleadingly, "you just make me feel so _important,"_ Chloe breathes wondrously. "You make me feel good, and happy, and safe. You make me feel trusted, and loved, and- and _appreciated,"_ Chloe shakes her head bemusedly, "and all I ever wanted to do was make you feel that way, too. But I _didn't,_ Beca, _"_ she whimpers weakly. "I let you down. I betrayed your trust, and I took everything you gave me for granted, just because I was _scared._

"I was so afraid to stand up to Aubrey that I chose to _forget you,_ Beca, and that's unforgivable," Chloe swears heatedly. "I know that what I did was wrong," she confesses shamefully and swallows, thankfully stemming the tears before Chloe begins crying all over again. "I know that you were disappointed in me," she says shakily, "but I also know that I deserve _worse_ than that, Beca."

"Why would you think that?" Beca frowns.

Chloe takes her time, fingers intermittently tightening and releasing over Beca's own, but Beca can wait. Chloe is thinking about her answer, and that's good; this conversation needs to be as honest and straightforward as possible, and if Chloe needs to think about it first, then that's fine by Beca.

"You let me touch you, when I'm good," the redhead whispers moments later, a small, fondly adoring smile tilting the very corners of her mouth. "You, um- you touch _me,_ when I'm _really_ good," she grins a little and shrugs shyly, in spite of her present devastation. "And I like it," Chloe tells her softly. "I love it, Bec," she laughs disbelievingly, but sighs deeply toward its end. "But if I get rewarded for doing something good for you," Chloe hesitates and closes her eyes, "then I should also be punished for doing something bad to you."

"I just– I guess I just don't understand why you actually want me to _hurt you._ Why isn't taking away the reward punishment enough, on its own?" Beca furrows her brow.

Chloe smiles sadly, and her fingers twitch restlessly in Beca's palms, before she earnestly murmurs, "It's not the same. This is– It's more about balance than anything," she confesses quietly. "When I do things to make you happy, I- I feel _proud,_ Beca. I feel proud to be the one who you allow to do that for you. I feel proud just to know _how_ to make you happy. I just feel so _proud,_ and you're- really, really good at validating that feeling," Chloe sighs out softly. "I like how you tell me why you're thanking me, so that I know to do the same things again. I like how you spoil me when I do nice things for you, Beca. I like knowing that _you're_ proud of me, too, and that you're happy with me.

"It makes me feel- _valued._ Like, treasured _,_ or something; like I'm _important,_ " Chloe shrugs uncomfortably, before she frowns and shakes her head. "But when I _hurt you,_ Beca, all I felt was shame, and it hurt _me._ I didn't stand up for you when I should have, but, more importantly, I didn't stand up for you when you _needed me to,_ and I- I feel like I deserve worse than just a lecture; I deserve worse than just- not being able to touch you for a few days. I deserve _worse,_ Beca. I deserve – "

"Pain?" Beca interjects carefully. "Actual, physical _pain,_ Chloe? Doesn't that seem a little… I dunno, extreme?"

Chloe closes her eyes and shakes her head firmly. _"No,"_ she insists swiftly. "It still doesn't even feel like enough. Bec, you need to understand that this is new for me. I never felt this way until you; I never even considered it until I started to understand the way that your reward system works, and then- I started thinking about how that would change if I did something _bad._ I thought about it a lot, Beca – and I decided that I would _want_ to feel the consequences of hurting you, if I ever did. And now– Beca, I just need to feel every part of how my betrayal affected you, and I caused it, so I _deserve that._ Do you understand?"

Beca swipes her tongue across her lips in thought, and takes a second.

This is mostly insane, and Beca realizes that, but- she does actually understand what Chloe is trying to say. Beca isn't sure that she agrees with her – at least, not completely – but she thinks she understands. Chloe wants Beca to make her feel as badly as the redhead had made _Beca_ feel.

It's a little bit different, because Chloe's pain would become physical, but Beca gets the concept; Chloe wants balance. She wants to accept her punishment and earn back the privileges Beca had once allowed for her. She wants Beca to _show her_ how she is angry with Chloe, and hurt by what she did.

It's the strangest kind of apology Beca can even fathom, but, if she thinks about it, she's also never heard one so sincere.

Beca is admittedly a little wary, but- Chloe says she _needs this._

"Bec, please," Chloe whispers beseechingly. "Just- just make me yours again."

"You keep saying that," Beca frowns instantly in irritation, "but you've never _been_ mine, Chloe. I've wanted you to be," she confesses tiredly, and sweeps her fingers through her hair. "I've imagined it, or whatever; I think about it all the time, Chloe, but you've never actually been mine."

"Then _let me be,"_ Chloe pleads on a quiet, apologetic murmur.

"I can't even _trust you!"_ Beca explodes heatedly in answer. "Chloe, if you are mine, then you are _mine,"_ she insists furiously. "You support me, and you care for me, and you- you put me _first!"_ She stammers, blinking rapidly to clear frustrated tears from her own vision. "Just _once,_ I want to be first," she breathes resignedly, swiping the back of her knuckles just beneath her nose with a tiny, embarrassing sniffle.

"You will be," Chloe vows on trembling, tender whisper. "Beca, sweetie, you _will be._ I will put you first, I _promise_ ," she swears fervently, squeezing tightly over Beca's shaking hands, and Beca–

Beca might believe her.

She probably knows better, but Chloe's big, blue eyes are warm and sad and sure, and it's sort of really nice, for Beca, to believe that she is being sincere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't expect that kind of response to last chapter, so you guys are pretty great. Just so you're prepared, though, I'm leaving this story as it is, for now; it's a giant time vortex, honestly, and I've spent every spare second of the last four days typing this up for you. My girlfriend is becoming bitter. :P I've really loved writing this, though, and I might post one-shots from this universe in the future, so keep an eye out if you're interested! As usual, let me know how I did, please. : )

" _Beca…"_ Chloe pries nervously, audibly stalling over the DJ's name in a way that tells Beca that nothing else will ever follow, but that's okay.

Beca doesn't need Chloe to say anything else, really. At least, not about this.

Chloe is tugging with increasing urgency at Beca's hands and squirming restlessly at the edge of the freshman's bed, but Beca doesn't need for her to explain why. She already knows what Chloe wants from her.

She wants for Beca to say yes, and she's been pretty clear about that.

Chloe has literally and repetitively _pleaded_ with Beca to stake some kind of claim over her; the redhead has shamelessly _begged_ to become hers, and Beca has so far refused her an answer, but she kind of feels like that's her right.

Beca thinks it's important to consider all the angles here, and she's trying to work this through. She and Chloe are being honest with each other right now, and in order for that to work, Beca has to do a bit of soul searching to figure out what she actually needs; she's taking her time with that, and Chloe doesn't have to like it, because Beca thinks it's necessary.

Chloe is pushing unusually hard for an answer, though – something that she typically knows better than to do – and it's starting to grate on Beca's nerves.

She's given Chloe a lot of leeway this afternoon, and she thinks that maybe Chloe's been spoiled with it.

Beca gets that the redhead is confronting a new and frankly uncommon part of herself, and she might be insensitive, sometimes, but Beca isn't cruel; she can see how that could be kind of scary, particularly with something this deeply personal, and Beca's been trying very hard not to let her own hurt feelings get in the way of that, for Chloe. She's offered the redhead her ear, and she's offered up her comfort to help Chloe come to terms with it, but- Beca is beginning to think that her leniency is only serving to further upset the already-skewed balance in between them.

If Chloe needs some kind of punishment to restore that lost balance, then they can figure it out. Beca understands, sort of, and that's fine – but this is important, too, and Beca won't be rushed. She isn't going to coddle the redhead for her impatience, and she isn't about to let Chloe and her big, uneasy eyes pressure her into a decision that she isn't ready to make, no matter how badly Beca wants to reassure her.

The fact is, though- Beca can't actually be expected to seriously consider the idea of making Chloe _hers_ when she still isn't even sure that she's forgiven Chloe, in the first place.

Beca isn't stupid. Chloe is a devastated, anxious mess, and Beca knows that she's sincere in her apology. The senior Bella doesn't even know how to _be_ anything other than sincere, really, and Beca isn't trying to be unreasonable about this; she honestly doesn't doubt that Chloe regrets what she did.

That just- doesn't actually feel like enough.

Right now, Chloe only hurts because Beca is hurting – and while that's admittedly sort of nice and very new for Beca, on its own, the DJ wants more than that.

Beca wants Chloe to hurt because she _understands_ why Beca is hurting. She wants to hear Chloe tell her – in concise, coherent detail – _why_ what she did was wrong. Beca wants to know how Chloe had rationalized her decision to prioritize Beca's needs last, when all she claims to care about is simply making Beca _proud._

She wants for Chloe to explain herself, and Beca feels like it's fair to expect that of her.

It's sort of weird, because it isn't something that she normally makes a habit out of doing, on principle, but Beca is realizing that all she actually needs from Chloe, right now, is to talk.

Only, the redhead isn't currently in a place that's open to a calm and sensible dialogue.

Beca's emotions got a little out of control a while ago, and Chloe had taken action instantly; the redhead had completely surrendered her needs in favor of tending to Beca's, instead, and the DJ thinks that's kind of sweet – but it really doesn't take much to see that Chloe's emotional forfeiture had only ever been temporary.

The redhead is still frantic and a little bit needy, and she is still – pretty literally – a glutton for punishment. It's evident in the shamed, embarrassed shimmer of Chloe's unfathomably blue eyes, and in the constant, nervous shuffle of Chloe's entire body; Beca can even feel it in the indecisive way that Chloe's slender hands sporadically try to pull out from beneath her own, between counterintuitively latching over them even tighter.

Beca especially likes that last part, in particular, even if she thinks that her enjoyment of it is probably a bit fucked.

She wants to touch Chloe like this, and she doesn't want to stop doing it. It feels sort of nice to have the redhead's agitated palms cradled between the care of her own, and it grounds Beca in a way that she really isn't used to; it reminds her that any decision she makes will affect Chloe just as much as it will affect Beca, in the end, too, and the DJ sort of _needs_ that reminder.

People don't care about Beca, and that's fine. It might initially have taken her some time to smarten up, but she eventually learned to accommodate for that; Beca invests a ridiculous measure of effort in making sure that she never cares about people, either.

But Beca cares about Chloe.

Chloe is important to her, no matter how betrayed Beca might actually be feeling right now, and she needs this personal, invasively intimate contact with the redhead to remind herself that Chloe's needs are important, too.

Still, Beca isn't convinced that Chloe has even earned her touch, in the first place, and it's weirdly satisfying to know that Chloe doesn't think she's earned it, either.

Beca likes it.

She likes that Chloe is so fundamentally conditioned to her reward system that the redhead is actually uncomfortable with Beca's touch when Chloe knows that she doesn't deserve it, and it's exhilarating to know that she can affect Chloe this way. It makes Beca feel somewhat like she is killing the redhead with her kindness – and that actually seems like a really fitting kind of punishment, for Chloe, in a lot of different ways.

Beca doesn't think this is the kind of punishment that Chloe is looking for, though, and she's stalled on that subject as long as she thinks she can really get away with; ultimately, Beca just needs to _talk,_ with Chloe, and Chloe- apparently needs some physical form of reprimand before she can be ready to participate in that conversation with her.

That's really all it comes down to, Beca realizes, and it doesn't actually need to be this complicated.

"Take off your pants," she demands abruptly, boosting herself from the floor with only a mild degree of strain to the muscles in her thighs, before the DJ moves in the direction of her desk.

She doesn't look at Chloe.

Beca graduated in the imaginary field of passive-aggression with practically glowing honors, and the brunette partly avoids eye contact because she's still kind of irritated with Chloe for trying to hurry her decision – especially when Chloe is the one here to apologize, to begin with; mostly, though, Beca thinks she probably keeps her gaze averted because she still isn't even sure how she actually feels about the situation, and Beca doesn't want the redhead to mistake her emotional ambiguity for reluctance or disgust.

Beca isn't judging her.

If punishment is Chloe's thing, then that's honestly okay; Beca had said as much to Chloe, and she had genuinely meant it. It's unusual, sure, and Beca knows that this kind of sexual deviancy probably wouldn't be well-received by most people, but that really doesn't even matter. Beca isn't bothered about that.

Beca just- isn't sure how comfortable she feels with being the one responsible for _doing that_ to Chloe. She doesn't know that she actually has the heart to hurt her, and, even if she does, Beca can't think of a single reason why she would ever want to hurt that girl on _purpose_.

And, frankly, it really only helps a little that Chloe is outright asking for it.

Beca wants to do this because Chloe needs it, and because Beca even thinks she's beginning to understand _why_ Chloe needs it, but she makes no claim to confidence.

Still, as Beca gravitates toward the direction of her laptop, she hears Chloe suck in a sharp, telling breath of air from behind her, and something in Beca's stomach unexpectedly clenches with overpowering greed.

"What?" Chloe squeaks.

Beca snorts, and also rolls her eyes.

She knows that Chloe heard her, and she knows that Chloe doesn't actually need for Beca to repeat herself. She knows that Chloe is probably surprised, and probably nervous, too; Beca gets that, and it's fine – but the DJ mostly just wants to get this over with, and Chloe's delayed reaction is really only serving to drag it out even longer.

"Take _off_ your fucking _pants_ , Beale," Beca reiterates with a deliberately patronizing drawl.

And it's sort of unexpected, how swiftly Chloe moves to obey her the second time around, but- it's also sort of nice.

Beca instantly hears the redhead scramble to find her feet, and an oddly satisfied burst of pleasure charges up the length of Beca's spine in answer. She hears some fabric drop to the floor in the immediate moments following, and it kind of makes Beca dizzy just to imagine what the redhead must look like, right now.

Beca swallows, but she still doesn't face Chloe.

Instead, she busies herself with searching out some music. The DJ isn't exactly sure what kind of mood she's even meant to set for this, and she thinks it might be better to avoid making assumptions about that, altogether, but- Beca also thinks that _spanking_ someone probably has the potential to generate some pretty interesting sounds.

The thing is, Beca lives in a dorm room – and even if most of the building's residents fled campus in a mass exodus for spring break two days ago, that kind of noise disturbance really isn't kosher.

Beca isn't interested in fumbling her way through that conversation with her RA.

She eventually puts together something slow – Beca won't be rushed; not by Chloe, and not even by the music – but she makes sure that every track in the playlist boasts a deep, fairly consistent bass to shadow as much of the noise as Beca thinks she can. She still isn't sure that it's enough, but it's really the best that Beca can do.

The brunette fiddles briefly with the volume, tampering with the speakers expertly arranged on Beca's half of the room, but Beca doesn't fool herself; she mostly only does it to just give herself some time. Her hands are shaking, her heart is pulsing at an uncomfortably quickened rate, and Beca slows her pace for a minute to take a couple of very deep breaths.

When she eventually musters up the courage to face Chloe, though, Beca is very quickly reminded of something vitally important: Chloe _likes_ to please.

And the redhead has _more_ than adhered to Beca's instruction.

She hasn't just removed her pants; Chloe is completely stripped – of jeans, shirt, underwear, bra and all – and her clothes lie neatly folded on the floor at Chloe's feet. The girl is entirely bare from head to toe, chin morosely tucked against her chest and palms pressing gently into the soft skin of her thighs.

It seems sort of obvious that Beca would be allowed to look, but the DJ doesn't know that she should. Chloe is confident about her body – Beca remembers that much clearly – but this is different. This is a completely foreign experience for both of them, and Beca doesn't want to take advantage. Chloe might be confident, but right now she is also _vulnerable_ , and Beca- sort of feels like it's her job to make Chloe feel as comfortable with that as possible.

So Beca tries.

She gives her very best effort to keep her gaze from wandering, but her eyes drag heatedly down the length of Chloe's frame, anyway, like the things are on fucking autopilot, and Beca can't actually even feel bad about it.

Because Chloe is dazzling, in practically every sense of the word.

It isn't news, really. Beca's known it since the day they met, and if she ever had any doubt, Beca's pretty positive that Chloe had effectively banished it in her shower stall six months ago.

The redhead's body is slender and fit, her tits are basically the perfect size, and Beca thinks that Chloe's legs are probably a sin. Freckles smear flatteringly like tiny stars over the blushing plane of Chloe's chest, sprinkling sparsely across the gentle swell of her breasts, and Chloe's lowered blue eyes glitter in the soft glow of the sun, peeking through the small, solitary window in Beca's room; her stomach is toned and flat, with a tiny, beautiful bit of muscle rippling from beneath in nervous anticipation, and when Beca spies it, she curiously spares a second to wonder if she should thank Aubrey's deeply offensive exercise regimen for the existence of that muscle, to begin with.

Ultimately, Beca vehemently decides against thanking Aubrey Posen for anything. Ever.

Besides, Chloe doesn't even need Aubrey's help. She's just naturally this pretty, Beca is sure of it; she's seen pictures of Chloe's parents and sisters, and that entire family makes the notorious curse of ginger DNA look like a genetic blessing.

Beca strongly suspects witchcraft.

"You know, you could probably consider letting a girl _watch_ , the next time you plan to strip for her," Beca smirks, and actively tries to keep things playful rather than strained.

She probably shouldn't be surprised when it doesn't actually work. Beca really isn't that good at this sort of thing.

"Sorry," Chloe giggles quietly, but it emerges weak, and it lacks her typical warmth. "I, um- I'm sorry," she sighs out tremblingly. "I thought that maybe- maybe this would be better," she explains. "If that's not– I mean, I can put my shirt back on if that's- if that's what you want," she worries between a couple of small, apprehensive pants.

Beca frowns.

She thinks that some measure of anxiety should definitely be allowed, right now – Beca thinks that's probably healthy, honestly – but she needs to be sure that this is still what Chloe wants, and Beca isn't convinced. The redhead sounds timid and maybe a little bit afraid, and the DJ- doesn't _want_ Chloe to be afraid. Not of her.

Even the idea of Chloe fearing her – for literally any reason at all – makes Beca's mouth feel dry, and causes her heart to constrict painfully inside of her chest. It destroys Beca on a seriously fundamental level, and she helplessly falters over her first step forward.

Beca practically stops breathing.

"You okay?" She asks lightly, purposefully nonchalant.

"Yes," Chloe rasps brokenly, a sad, tiny smile pulling weakly at the corners of her mouth. "Thank you for asking," she adds sweetly, nervously swiping her tongue across noticeably quivering lips.

The words are fine, Beca supposes, and Chloe's behavior probably falls within range of what Beca might have thought to expect from her, given how frantically apologetic Chloe has already proven herself to be, but that's far from the confirmation that Beca had been looking for.

She isn't second-guessing, really. Beca is honestly committed to doing this for Chloe no matter how much she expects to hate it – as long as she's sure that this is still what Chloe wants.

Beca just needs to know that Chloe understands she has a choice; it's okay if Chloe wants to back out, now that the redhead's hypothetical "would you?" has escalated into a very present reality, but it's also okay if Chloe wants to continue, and when Beca finally speaks, she tries to make sure that her tone expresses all of that as genuinely as Beca means it.

"Chloe," she begins slowly, pausing to ensure that she has the redhead's full attention, "I just want to be clear – you know that this doesn't have to happen, right? I mean, I'm game if you are," she rushes to include, "but you don't actually have to do this. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes," Chloe nods in swift reply. "I know, Beca. I know that I don't have to, but I just– Please, I just _need it,"_ she whispers beseechingly.

"Okay," Beca offers her palms in surrender. "I just wanted to be sure. I know that this is important to you, Chloe," she tells her solemnly, hands falling to her sides, "and I'm not sure that I totally get it, or whatever, but I'm really trying," she vows with unprecedented devotion. "I'm willing to do whatever you need me to, okay? This is just– It's kind of a big thing, you know?" Beca rolls her shoulder awkwardly. "And I'm not trying to, like- scar you for life on your very first try."

A second giggle bursts rapidly free from somewhere low in Chloe's chest, and it's- kind of perfect, actually. It's genuine, and soft, and barely even a sound at all, if Beca is honest, but the DJ is so relieved to hear it that she thinks she might could cry.

Still, Chloe is blatantly laughing at Beca's sincerity, and that- also sort of stings, in a way that Beca doesn't like.

" _What?"_ She demands.

"Nothing," Chloe swears on the dying ends of her delight. "It's just- you're sometimes pretty cute, that's all," she shrugs shyly.

Beca grits her teeth in abrupt annoyance.

She's sure that Chloe doesn't mean to imply anything beyond strictly the surface value of those words, but- it feels a little bit like the redhead is ridiculing Beca for caring, anyway, and that upsets her.

She just wants to make sure that the redhead feels safe. She wants Chloe to know that she can stop this whenever she's ready. Beca wants Chloe to be comfortable – or at least as comfortable as she can be, right now – and she wants Chloe to know that she can trust Beca to make sure that she stays that way.

The DJ is only looking out for her – the same way she had tried to do at semis – and that's something that Beca typically just doesn't _do_. She never actually lets herself care about other people enough to want anything for them, frankly, and that makes Chloe special.

Beca is honestly doing everything in her power to guarantee that Chloe _knows that,_ but it feels an awful lot like the redhead is mocking her for it, after already rejecting Beca's heartfelt attempt to demonstrate that fondness for her, six days before.

It really sort of hurts, and it definitely isn't nice.

"This isn't _cute,_ Beale," she scoffs coldly, and Chloe flinches all over, brows closing together in immediate confusion. "I'm trying to take care of you," Beca tells her quietly, softening her tone. "I'm trying to make sure that you have everything you need from me, Chloe, and it isn't fair of you to laugh at that," she frowns deeply.

"You're right," Chloe murmurs after a couple of thoughtful seconds, flushing furiously in shame. "I shouldn't- I shouldn't have laughed," she stammers over a breath. "I appreciate that you're concerned for me, and I'm- I'm really sorry, Beca."

"Yeah," Beca rolls her eyes impatiently. "You've been saying that a lot – and, just so we're clear, I have every intention for us to discuss each one of those apologies later," she remarks pointedly. "But this is about you right now, Chloe," Beca says quietly, and bravely shifts her feet forward to cross the couple of steps worth of distance between her desk and the bed, before she perches herself on the longer edge of her mattress.

She takes a minute to get herself settled, and Chloe's wide eyes – slightly restricted by the disgracefully lowered angle of her head – track every movement fiercely, the redhead's body turning to find Beca as the DJ navigates around her.

Beca doesn't move much, really. She kicks her shoes toward the corner of the room, and shifts her body around until she feels comfortably situated, but that's basically it. Still, Chloe watches all of it like she's counting down the seconds, restlessly fidgeting in front of the brunette as her whole body progressively begins to redden.

Chloe seemingly can't be still. The redhead twists her hips and wiggles her toes, swaying gently back and forth like the motion somehow calms her, but Beca doesn't say anything; she's still working through her own emotions about this, and she isn't sure that she can take on Chloe's apprehension, too.

Beca is going a little bit out of her way not to think about this too hard, frankly – because if she does, she'll probably lose her nerve.

So Beca doesn't.

Instead, she lightly pats her knee, takes a breath, and softly instructs, "Come here, Chloe."

And Chloe just- _does._

It happens in an instant; the redhead inhales a swift, eager gasp of air into her lungs and practically dives into Beca's lap, all in the same blink. She presses the top half of her torso into the mattress, legs lined prettily along the opposite side of Beca's waist, and Chloe squirms her hips a little until they rest over top of Beca's thighs.

Beca's palm finds quick, safe purchase in the nook of Chloe's lower back, and she taps her fingers briefly along the knots of the redhead's spine, but Beca isn't particularly focused on it.

She's seen Chloe nude, and also in about a thousand other states of various undress, but- Beca is realizing that she's really never seen the _back_ of Chloe. Granted, she's seen the redhead in spandex from behind, and even lacy underwear – Chloe isn't shy; she'll strip down to practically nothing in front of anyone in her vicinity when she feels the desire to change – but Beca's never actually seen Chloe's ass _bare._

It's round and full, and – naturally – a bit pale, and Beca is sort of really enjoying that it happens to temporarily be available for her personal viewing pleasure.

She ghosts her fingertips along the dip of Chloe's spine, and she feels more than hears as Chloe rakes in a couple of heavy breaths in answer, but Chloe doesn't stop her progress. Beca accepts that as permission to continue, and keeps going until her fingers dance along the skin of Chloe's right cheek. The DJ becomes bold after a few minutes of exploration, and she eventually splays her palm flat across a single globe, before she offers it a squeeze.

Chloe moans in immediate answer, trembling somewhat violently over top of the brunette's lap as her hips reflexively press into Beca's legs to seek contact, and Beca's stomach tightens.

The redhead is beautiful, and she always has been, but Beca's never touched her like this before; she's never heard sounds like that crash off the edges of Chloe's lips, and she's never felt so much of Chloe's naked skin underneath of her own palm.

It's sort of really nice, Beca thinks, and frankly better than any fantasy Beca might independently have been able to conjure, even if this isn't actually about sex, in the first place.

Chloe's soft flesh gives easily, sinking beneath the gentle pressure of Beca's fingers as they curl, and Beca draws her second hand up to join the first, applying similar attention to the opposite cheek. Beca really doesn't have a goal. She isn't aiming for anything, and she knows that this isn't even close to the intended reason for Chloe's nudity, but Beca's only human, and she likes touching Chloe.

Still, Chloe is sighing impatiently beneath her, and Beca knows that she's already made Chloe wait for this longer than the redhead would have liked.

"Did you- Did you maybe have a number in mind, or something?" She croaks between clearing her throat. "Like, for how many times you want me to…?"

Beca knows that it's an awkward question – she isn't completely oblivious – but she still thinks it's an important one. She doesn't know what Chloe is expecting, right now, and she thinks that it's probably good for her to know that.

"No," Chloe whimpers in reply, her blushing cheek flattening over the mattress as she moves her face toward Beca.

Chloe still doesn't look at her, though. Not completely, at least.

Beca gets that Chloe's shame plays a crucial role in that, somewhere. Beca isn't trying argue with that, and, frankly, she kind of enjoys that Chloe doesn't even feel that she has the right to properly _look_ at Beca, after hurting her the way that she had; still, Beca would a little bit like to be able to see Chloe's eyes.

As expressive as Chloe has the tendency to be, in basically everything that she does, her eyes tell Beca the most about what she's actually feeling; she wants them within view so that she can make sure Chloe is alright throughout the duration of her punishment.

The redhead's gaze eventually lands somewhere near the underside of Beca's jaw, though, and Beca thinks that's probably close enough.

"That's, um- That's your decision," Chloe explains breathily.

Beca honestly doesn't have any idea how many spanks are even appropriate for a _child's_ punishment, let alone for Chloe's. Still, the fact that Chloe is investing that kind of trust in Beca, and allowing the DJ total control over how much pain Chloe is expected to suffer is- kind of dizzying.

She takes a few minutes, gently massaging the smooth swell of flesh beneath her palms. Chloe squirms all over and releases a couple of sweet, quiet noises spurred from the pleasure of it, and Beca likes the way that Chloe moves across her lap in answer. She likes the way that Chloe's breaths increase in frequency, too, like Beca's touch is systematically destroying her even without much effort, but Beca knows she really can't wait any longer.

She draws in a long, steadying breath, and braces one arm across the stretch of Chloe's lower back to keep her steady. Beca offers one more tender stroke across Chloe's skin, before she lifts her palm upward.

Beca tries not to think about it.

She tries not to think about how she is seeking to _hurt_ Chloe, even at the redhead's own insistence; she tries not to think about how far her hand pulls back, or how much speed it will inevitably gain on its way back down; she tries not to think about how she would feel in Chloe's place, or about the way that Chloe's body tenses when she feels Beca's touch separate from her flesh.

Beca just lets her hand fall.

And, all at once, there is a sharp _smack,_ and an echo of it that lingers through the small space of Beca's room; Chloe startles over Beca's thighs with a violent jerk of her whole body, and a surprised yelp clamors up from her throat with a pitch so high that it rings in Beca's ears like fucking Big Ben at noon.

"Oh my god," Beca breathes dumbly in instant reply. "Chloe, are you okay? Jesus, I can't believe I just _did that_ to you! Are you alright?" She insists quickly, swallowing thickly. "Are you hurt? Are you good?"

Chloe trembles aggressively in her lap, and Beca watches her shoulders rise and fall beneath a series of too-hard breaths. It takes a few, agonizing seconds for the redhead to collect herself, but when she does, Chloe frantically pants, "I'm fine. Beca, I'm fine. Again. Just- just do it again."

Beca can't believe this.

She can't believe that she literally just _spanked_ Chloe, but, more than that, Beca can't believe that Chloe is actually asking for her to do it again. This whole situation is basically unreal, for Beca, but- Chloe's eyes are wide and pleading, and this is all _about_ what Chloe wants, the DJ reminds herself.

Or, at least, it's meant to be.

Only, when Beca miraculously gathers the mental strength to do what Chloe asked, Beca sort of has to just- blink.

A whimper falls from Chloe's lips, this time, but it ends in something more like a moan, and Beca isn't sure how to take that. It sounds nearly like part of Chloe _enjoyed_ the second slap, and Beca really can't fathom how; she gets that it's probably pretty normal, for people who like this kind of thing, but it's still baffling, for Beca.

Her palm renews its tender caress across Chloe's skin, fingers gently smoothing the slope between Chloe's butt and thigh, just to give the redhead a second to recover; Chloe's breaths are heavy and wet, her blue eyes are wide and brimming with tears of relief, and Beca thinks that she could probably use the time.

Beca doesn't plan for it; it isn't like she knows how long it takes for this to happen. It just- sort of conveniently works out that the time she offers to Chloe is just enough for Beca to watch the redhead's flesh as it begins to brighten in color.

And it's actually sort of nice, Beca thinks bemusedly, the way that her skin burns with that deliciously warm glow in the shape of Beca's palm. It's also sort of hot, Beca swallows as she realizes, and even the sight of it causes a vicious wave of something that feels a lot like possession to swell through Beca's core. The feeling is intoxicating and demanding and forceful, and Beca really can't rationalize this emotion in her head.

It's fine.

It's not important, Beca tells herself – and it becomes even less so when Chloe wiggles her hips and arches them up closer to Beca's face in a silent plea for more.

This whole thing is insane, and Beca knows that, but- as she raises her stinging palm all over again and feels it spank into the redhead's eagerly waiting flesh, Beca thinks she might- _like it._

She likes touching Chloe's body this intimately, and she likes the way that Chloe responds to her touch in return, even when it isn't kind. She likes the soft mewl that blisters through the air between them when Chloe's hips grind fruitlessly into Beca's legs with growing want. She likes that Chloe is allowing her to do this – she likes that Chloe _trusts her_ to do this – and she sort of likes having the freedom to translate her own hurt in a way that Chloe can undoubtedly understand.

So Beca powers her next strike with a little bit more strength.

The DJ raises her hand a tiny bit higher, puts a little more effort into it, and lets it swing across Chloe's newly lightened ass.

The redhead whines desperately into Beca's comforter, fingers snatching urgently around the blanket for stability, but Beca doesn't wait. She lets the next blow fall into Chloe without sparing a second for pause, and the one after that follows in immediate succession, with equally as much force as the last.

Chloe writhes like a goddamn snake, legs shuffling and hips arching, hands clenching and releasing over top of the bedspread. Tears spill freely from Chloe's oddly delighted blue eyes, and collapse from the one cheek that Beca can still see into the fabric underneath of her, and Beca–

Beca doesn't know that she has ever thought of Chloe as otherworldly, until now, but- she is fairly convinced that the redhead might actually be an angel.

She wants to forgive her. Beca wants to be _able_ to forgive her. She wants to comfort Chloe, and she wants to hold her, because Beca feels like Chloe's devotion to serving out her punishment has probably earned that much, from Beca, at least.

So Beca coaches Chloe through one last apology, just to give Beca a reason to warrant her forgiveness.

"Tell me that you're sorry," Beca whispers to her softly.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry," Chloe sobs instantly, forehead bowing into the mattress. "I'm sorry, Beca. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry," she promises deliriously.

Beca really should have expected this.

She should have expected that 'tender' was not the route to take, when Chloe is basically putting Beca in a position of authority over her; she should have expected that Chloe might fall apart without firm and detailed instruction.

So Beca offers that, instead, and it isn't actually all that hard.

Beca has waited patiently for six days to hear this; she has sacrificed her needs for Chloe's, and she has honored her affection for the redhead in every way that she actually even knows how, but Beca is done waiting. She expects a detailed apology, from Chloe, and Beca's going to have it.

"No," she growls swiftly in frustration. "Chloe, _look at me_ and tell me that you are _sorry._ Tell me what you did wrong, Beale. Tell me why you're being _punished,"_ Beca insists harshly.

And it's maybe sort of nice, how easily those words fall off of her tongue.

It makes Beca feel a little bit like she is somehow _above_ Chloe; like Beca somehow has the right to _demand_ this of Chloe, and Beca can't begin to explain why, but she _likes_ that. Beca doesn't especially love that she's power-tripping over it, and she'd never want to actually demean Chloe, but the feeling that it gives her is- sort of incredibly nice.

"I'm s-sorry that I didn't appreciate w-what you did for me at s-semis," Chloe starts swiftly, hiccupping between words and sniffling weakly into Beca's bed. "I'm sorry that I b-basically forced the Bellas on you and m-made you _c-care_ about them, and I'm sorry that I t-took them away from you like you w-were never even o-one of us," she whimpers in exhaustion. "I'm sorry that I was a-afraid, and I'm sorry that I put my o-own fears above y-yours. I'm s-sorry that I was w-weak, and I'm sorry th-that I was e-ever willing to disappoint you b-before them. I'm sorry that I let Aubrey talk to y-you that way, and I'm sorry that I b-betrayed your trust. I'm sorry that I m-made you feel like you were _n-nothing_ to me, Beca, and I'm sorry that I l-let them tell me you weren't _worthy._ I'm sorry that I d-didn't put you _first_."

Beca asked for an apology, she knows, but that's the prettiest string of words that Beca's ever even heard – and it's only made better because she knows that Chloe means it.

Chloe knows what she did; she knows why it was wrong. She knows that she made Beca feel unimportant, and that she'd given Beca someplace to belong right before helping to snatch it out from right underneath her feet. Chloe knows that she had broken Beca's trust, and _Beca_ knows that she knows better than to do it again.

That's all that Beca actually wanted, and, really, Chloe has probably been punished long enough.

" _I forgive you, Chloe,"_ she swears softly, pulling at Chloe's hips until the redhead understands what Beca wants from her, and turns onto her back. "I forgive you," Beca promises earnestly, tugging Chloe upward to fold the redhead in her arms. "I forgive you," she vows, over and over again, pressing soft, butterfly kisses into Chloe's hair and cheeks and nose.

Chloe shakes and cries and twists frantically relieved fingers through the fabric of Beca shirt, whispering her constant gratitude as she breaks in Beca's arms, but Beca keeps forgiving her.

She forgives Chloe when the redhead's face tucks warmly into Beca's neck, and she forgives Chloe when she falls into an exhausted sleep in Beca's lap. Beca forgives Chloe as she shuffles her up the bed, tucking her beneath the blankets for warmth, and she forgives her again when she winds her arms around Chloe's hips in the most intimate touch that Beca can remember since her grandmother hugged her when she was twelve.

And it's okay, Beca thinks. It's okay that Chloe is still here, and it's okay that she's asleep; it's okay that the redhead is a practically angelic disaster, and it's okay that they will need to talk about this more fully after Chloe wakes.

It's okay, because Beca _likes_ being trusted to take care of Chloe when Chloe can't be trusted to take care of herself.

It's sort of nice.


End file.
